I've had quite the pensive day- feelings of unsettled-ness have been swarming around in my mind recently, and they were certainly in full force this morning. They were planted there yesterday and stayed the chat all night long, creating strange dreams like little flash photographs. The dream I was torn from this morning was one of me running uphill and unable to breathe. At all. It didn't help that two out of the five teachers I was supposed to work with today (did I mention that 3 of my hours were cancelled?) told me I looked tired and worn out. Maybe 'man you look tired, you should go back home and get some rest' sounds worse in French, but I'm inclined to say it's pretty bad to hear in any language first thing in the morning. Surtout when your morning cup of coffee was cut short to go rush to work.
Anyways, one of the pensive thoughts I had this morning on my trip to the laundromat was about springtime. We were blessed last week with some incredible weather (I went on TWO picnics this weekend! I haven't done that since I don't even know when. TWO in the same weekend). The start of this week has been ok, but noticeably cooler with wind and clouds casting shadows along the sidewalks. Maybe this year is exceptional, but this is the first time I realllly find myself noticing the weather changes and how they affect my moods. Today was no exception- the clouds indecisiveness to hide or show the sun, which direction to move through the sky, to let rain down or keep it for later, completely mirrored what I find myself feeling too. I'd always thought about spring as a wonderful joyful season, but today for the first time I wondered if maybe it's actually the most painful season of all. After many months of cold and frozen grounds- where we're constantly layering more clothes, bundling up but shivering anyways- we finally once again have a glimpse at the warm sunshine and relaxed summer months that are peeking from around the corner. But how many times after getting in 'spring mode' have we actually been deceived a few days or weeks later, snow on the ground once again? I remember one of my birthdays in Utah where it snowed. On May 17th! Look at those poor flowers in the picture I posted up. Just as they thought they were home free, they're shivering again. I'm convinced they are. Well, I would be anyways.
I find the whole thing similar to my foot falling asleep and waking up again... But, trying to ignore that emotional metaphor that's blown my way, I continue on through my week. Which had a pretty good beginning. I've been lucky to have some more informal conversations with students this week, which I think can actually show much more about their English level than a report about a picture or a book. One group even asked to video-interview me about patriotism in the United States and my opinion. It was a pretty interesting cross-cultural interview- they asked me the questions in French and told me to reply in English, since the report is for both their Literature and English classes combined into one. After I was done speaking, it was interesting to hear their opinions too. They think patriotism is much more pronounced in the States, which I would agree with, but one student mentioned he didn't think patriotism existed in France, at which point I had to keep myself from making some odd or inappropriate facial expression. I instead opted to say, interesting, I think it exists in France just in much different ways. Regional patriotism as opposed to National perhaps. I can't count the number of times a French person has proudly let me know which region of France their families were from as soon as I met them, reminding me what the region specialties and special traditions are. One of the students also commented on the 'youth' of the U.S. as compared to France and most of Western Europe, and that possibly as another reason for the surge of patriotism. Food for thought!
I head to Italy on Thursday, we'll see if I can get another post in between now and then. Hope all is well Stateside!
alli
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